Today was another long day for me. Classes have been really tough and I have been out of school for so long that it is even harder for me. I constantly feel like I am falling behind, or struggling to catch up. Part of the college experience is learning to prioritize your values. There are only so many things that I can do in a day, pages I can read, and code I can write. What here will affect my grade more. Maybe I can do it all. That's what I have been trying to do, consequently I have only slept one night this week and it is ... well Friday I suppose. To be honest I slept 3 nights this week, except for it was only 3 or 4 hours a night, and 8 hours on Wednesday.
I am dreaming in code. I am constantly thinking about my world in it. I had a dream the other night that this cute woman walked into my apartment and I was trying to figure out the best algorithm to talk to her, it was a little bit nuts, I never figured it out, the algorithm I mean.
Speaking of being completely awkward around girls. I have this great friend that I love (see previous posts) and I always feel really awkward around her. I don't feel this way around everyone but I do around her. I like her I really do, she is a fantastic person, and I really want her to like me, to be interested in who I am and what I have to say, but I get this feeling that she doesn't. So I end up in this awkward state of trying to hard to impress while at the same time recognizing it and then trying really hard to act natural - to be at ease, and when you are trying to act it, nothing is harder to do than natural. Come to think of it there are a couple of people like that in my life. This one is just closer to me than the rest.
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